You’re getting married. Congratulations are in order. Problem is, you have a very small budget but you want your dream wedding. What do you do? Do you end up using a public place on the beach and get some nice beach wedding favors?

photo credit: Mike Miley

Honestly, even though the average wedding budget today, exceeds $20,000, what do you really have to have to get married? Well, first and foremost, you need the person who is going to marry you. Secondly, you need an Officiate. And last but not least, you need witnesses. Just that will get you married. But I’m sure, when you are dealing with a budget, that’s the last thing you want to hear. And probably another thing you don’t want to hear is that your guests really would love to have cheap personalized wedding favors.

First problem people have is that they have a pre-conceived idea of what they want and not what they can achieve with their budget. Don’t begin by making a list of all the items and pretty extras that you have to have. Start with the basics and then build from there.

Make a list of the people you absolutely “have” to invite. Bring it down to just your immediate family and close friends and relatives if you have to. And a very novel idea is to have two celebrations. Have one on the exact day of your wedding and another one as a house-warming, wedding party which someone can give you “after” your married. This is becoming very popular and everyone understands. More than likely, they’ve been in this same situation. And some people even do this for their Bridal Showers and they then give their guests bridal shower favors.

Another important idea is to read forums. The ideas that exist on them are endless. You’ll “talk” with people who are in the same financial situation and have amazing ideas to help you. Thousands of dollars can be saved with just a few money-saving ideas you get from making these new friends.

Lastly, decide what you can do yourself, or have friends do for you. For example, a friend, as a wedding gift, can be the photographer for the day. Another can be the videographer. Instead of a sit-down dinner, have a buffet or even hors d’oeuvres and desserts only. Borrow your wedding gown or even rent one. Use balloons instead of flowers and buy a “how to” book on how to make balloon arches, etc.

The saying, “where there’s a will, there’s a way” is very true. If you sit down with your future spouse, family and friends and explain the situation, everyone will help. Just remember, because you have a strict budget does not mean that you will not have a beautiful wedding. Some of the most touching, precious moments I can remember were at weddings which cost very little money. And anyway, what is more important is your new life ahead, not that one day. Learn to work with what you have and it will be beautiful.

Groomsmen have always been pictured as the groom’s bosom buddies who are ready to ship in just so they can be at the wedding. But there is someone who cringes at the thought of the guys coming over, the nervous bride. Do you want to know why? Really know why?

photo credit: supa_pedro

* The Drunk. During the wedding reception he makes a fool of himself, harassing guests, and worse gives a horrifying groomsman toast. Good you didn’t’ get married by the poolside; the drunk might have slipped and accidentally pushed you to the pool; wedding gown and all. What a calamity!

* The Fearless Groper. This obnoxious fool gets the itch when sloshed. No amount of polite explaining can sober him up so watch the guests file out if you can’t control him or throw him out. Well, he was charming during the wedding ritual until he got hold of his TLiquor Flask. So that was it.

* The Whiner. He does nothing but complain. You dread distributing the Gifts for Groomsmen lest you hear him carping about the identical Golf Gifts. Serves you well too for being too lazy to shop for personalized gifts.

* The Slob. You can’t stand his ragged pants, creased shirt, and messy hair. He picks his teeth with his fingers not caring if you’re there and he drops his cigarette butts everywhere. His sloppiness is grating on your nerves. It’s a good thing though he’s rooming with the groom or you’d really freak out.

* The Lousy Braggart. He does nothing butbroast about his new car and his dazzling broad. He makes sure too everybody hears how much he spent for his fiancee’s engagement ring and he keeps going on until your ears are sore. Makes you wonder what your groom saw in him.

It is so maddening you can’t toss these guys out of the house so you grin and bear them. It’s a good thing though that they’ll be leaving after the wedding reception. But what if there’s a freeloader lurking? That’s BIG trouble.
Is your sister tying the knot too? Better fill her in. She must quiz her groom about his groomsmen. If there’s a tip-off she will be meeting one of these wackos soon, encourage her to be candid about her fears. Her groom might have second thoughts then but that would be unlikely so prep her up to deal with these insufferable groomsmen.

Breaking hard may always have been hard for you. However, if you’ve never had a break up before, you can save weeks of crying and just get over the predicament quick and easy. There are several strategies that I have learned throughout the years. It may leave you feeling rude and domineering, but the fact is, the love or infatuation, is no longer there. You need to call it quits before things get out of hand or before things get more rash than usual.

1. No items required. You do not have to bring flowers or Groomsman gifts if you’re planning to break up with your girlfriend or boyfriend. Remember that you have to hurt the person a little, giving him or her the feeling that you no longer care or that you want to keep it relaxedbetween the two of you.

Avoid giving the other person some memories of how sweet and good the relationship was. Just come in plain clothes and try so much not to look your best. Physical attraction can be a deadly thing, so even if you feel like hugging him or her, just stay calm and maintain your poise.

2. The decision is final. Take time to contemplate about your reasons for breaking up. However, you do not need to divulge these to your future ex-partner, since he or she may want to debate and try to win you over through conversation. Keep the reasons in your head to help you decide completely that you want out on the relationship. Once you have decided that you want to be alone, the decision is last, so all you need to do is tell the other party.

3. Do not sugar-coat. When telling the other person that you want to separate, never sugar-coat things by trying to make him or her feel better. Breakups will definitely give both of you a slight feeling of worry, loneliness and sadness for a few minutes. Simplytell the other person, “I need to break up with you.” Just be honest with your thoughts and feelings and save that Flask set for your next partner.

4. Leave the scene. Once you have stated what you need to say, just give a few minutes to let the other person absorb the issue, then walk away. The two of you do not need to talk about the situation immediately. Let the other person feel that you are really gone. Accept the fact that both of you will feel some hurt for awhile, but that does not necessarilymean that you are a bad person. You just needed to do some tweaking in the relationship.

Even if you intend to be friends with him or her still, that discussion should be saved for another day. Give it a couple of weeks, before talking to the person again to prevent yourself from being sucked in again by kind words and sweet actions. Find something to distractyourself from the pain such as looking for Engraved flasks in a flea market.

Breaking Up Without Breaking Down

photo credit: Samat Jain