You’ve decide to tie the knot. You’re a future bride or a future groom. You think you’ve found the perfect woman and the perfect family. How could you be so lucky? The stars have truly shined upon you. But then you start planning the wedding and like magic, the woman you’ve grown to speak of so fondly, turns into a monster. How could this happen?

photo credit: bunnygoth

Most of you probably think I’m just speaking of the groom feeling this way, but I can personally attest to the fact that this happens to brides-to-be, as well. But what happened? And more than that, how do I get that wonderful woman back? I mean, she even found the most cheap wedding favors for us!

Planning a wedding is a stressful time, and nothing can bring more tension than the in-laws getting in the middle of things. What ultimately happens is the stress overflows into the happy soon to be married couple’s lives. Before you know it the ecstatic, future Mr. and Mrs. end up battling over whose mother or parents are right and who’s causing problems. Take my word for it, give the battle up at the beginning. Neither of you will win, and you’ll both end up losing. Of course you could always take one of those leftover adorable wine stopper wedding favors and drink that!

So, how do you overcome this mountain and turn it into a molehill? First of all, pick your battles, no matter if you’re the bride or the groom and no matter whose family is at fault. It’s just not worth it. If you can get this before you’re married, you will alleviate most of the problems acquainted with arguments in a newly married couple’s life. And then when you decide on gifts just as cute as your bridal shower favors you will not have so much of an issue.

Most of the issues will be about where the wedding should be. Or perhaps, who should perform the ceremony. Maybe one side wants a large wedding and the other wants something more intimate; after all, that’s what they did when they got married. The only way to ease this kind of pain, is to truly listen to everyone. Care about what they feel and tell them that. And then when everyone has said their peace, you and your future spouse go out to dinner with a pencil and paper in hand, and decide what you both really want. Always consider other people; especially parents. But do not let anyone manipulate you into having a wedding you will not enjoy.

The only way you will have to renege on some issues, is if one parent(s) are paying for all or most of the wedding. Then there will probably have to be more consideration given to them. So if you don’t have a lot of money and you want to have complete control of your wedding, then opt for something smaller and more intimate. Your peace of mind and lack of stress, will make it well worth it.

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You’re getting married. Congratulations are in order. Problem is, you have a very small budget but you want your dream wedding. What do you do? Do you end up using a public place on the beach and get some nice beach wedding favors?

photo credit: Mike Miley

Honestly, even though the average wedding budget today, exceeds $20,000, what do you really have to have to get married? Well, first and foremost, you need the person who is going to marry you. Secondly, you need an Officiate. And last but not least, you need witnesses. Just that will get you married. But I’m sure, when you are dealing with a budget, that’s the last thing you want to hear. And probably another thing you don’t want to hear is that your guests really would love to have cheap personalized wedding favors.

First problem people have is that they have a pre-conceived idea of what they want and not what they can achieve with their budget. Don’t begin by making a list of all the items and pretty extras that you have to have. Start with the basics and then build from there.

Make a list of the people you absolutely “have” to invite. Bring it down to just your immediate family and close friends and relatives if you have to. And a very novel idea is to have two celebrations. Have one on the exact day of your wedding and another one as a house-warming, wedding party which someone can give you “after” your married. This is becoming very popular and everyone understands. More than likely, they’ve been in this same situation. And some people even do this for their Bridal Showers and they then give their guests bridal shower favors.

Another important idea is to read forums. The ideas that exist on them are endless. You’ll “talk” with people who are in the same financial situation and have amazing ideas to help you. Thousands of dollars can be saved with just a few money-saving ideas you get from making these new friends.

Lastly, decide what you can do yourself, or have friends do for you. For example, a friend, as a wedding gift, can be the photographer for the day. Another can be the videographer. Instead of a sit-down dinner, have a buffet or even hors d’oeuvres and desserts only. Borrow your wedding gown or even rent one. Use balloons instead of flowers and buy a “how to” book on how to make balloon arches, etc.

The saying, “where there’s a will, there’s a way” is very true. If you sit down with your future spouse, family and friends and explain the situation, everyone will help. Just remember, because you have a strict budget does not mean that you will not have a beautiful wedding. Some of the most touching, precious moments I can remember were at weddings which cost very little money. And anyway, what is more important is your new life ahead, not that one day. Learn to work with what you have and it will be beautiful.

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Groomsmen have always been pictured as the groom’s bosom buddies who are ready to ship in just so they can be at the wedding. But there is someone who cringes at the thought of the guys coming over, the nervous bride. Do you want to know why? Really know why?

photo credit: supa_pedro

* The Drunk. During the wedding reception he makes a fool of himself, harassing guests, and worse gives a horrifying groomsman toast. Good you didn’t’ get married by the poolside; the drunk might have slipped and accidentally pushed you to the pool; wedding gown and all. What a calamity!

* The Fearless Groper. This obnoxious fool gets the itch when sloshed. No amount of polite explaining can sober him up so watch the guests file out if you can’t control him or throw him out. Well, he was charming during the wedding ritual until he got hold of his TLiquor Flask. So that was it.

* The Whiner. He does nothing but complain. You dread distributing the Gifts for Groomsmen lest you hear him carping about the identical Golf Gifts. Serves you well too for being too lazy to shop for personalized gifts.

* The Slob. You can’t stand his ragged pants, creased shirt, and messy hair. He picks his teeth with his fingers not caring if you’re there and he drops his cigarette butts everywhere. His sloppiness is grating on your nerves. It’s a good thing though he’s rooming with the groom or you’d really freak out.

* The Lousy Braggart. He does nothing butbroast about his new car and his dazzling broad. He makes sure too everybody hears how much he spent for his fiancee’s engagement ring and he keeps going on until your ears are sore. Makes you wonder what your groom saw in him.

It is so maddening you can’t toss these guys out of the house so you grin and bear them. It’s a good thing though that they’ll be leaving after the wedding reception. But what if there’s a freeloader lurking? That’s BIG trouble.
Is your sister tying the knot too? Better fill her in. She must quiz her groom about his groomsmen. If there’s a tip-off she will be meeting one of these wackos soon, encourage her to be candid about her fears. Her groom might have second thoughts then but that would be unlikely so prep her up to deal with these insufferable groomsmen.

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