How To Ask For Wedding Gifts or Gifts Of Money
Friends and family members often ask either the bride or her mother what would be acceptable as a wedding gift. It is quite all right to reply specifically if it is done in such a way that the sender is given some latitude for the cost of the item.
For instance, if the giver indicates that she would like to send silver, the name of the pattern selected may be given her so that she may add a piece or as many pieces as fit her budget. Or, a list of several items of varying costs may be suggested.
In answer to the direct question about the acceptability of some specific item: “Would you like an electric iron?” the reply may be frank appreciation or rejection of the suggestion; e.g., “Oh, we’d love one, thank you,” or “Thank you, it’s a grand idea, but Ted’s mother has already sent us one.”
In answer to the question, “Is money an acceptable wedding gift?”
Emily Post says “No,” listing as her reason the fact that the money is spent and the couple has nothing definite to remember the sender by.
However, many couples who marry today find money a highly acceptable gift in many instances. Some couples are not able to establish a household of their own for some time. For them the problem of storing wedding gifts may be a difficult one.
Other couples go to housekeeping in limited quarters where there will be no place to put many of the things that they get for their wedding.
Most young couples start out with limited finances that must be stretched as far as dollars can go and, knowing just what they need and what they can do without for a while, can possibly more wisely spend the gift allotment than could all but their closest associates.
One possible compromise between Emily Post and modern expediency is the giving of a United States Government Bond, which may be turned in for cash at once if needed, or “salted away” as a gift of security from the sender until it matures, or until it can be used to purchase some much needed item for the new household.
However… it is not appropriate to ask for money or gifts in a wedding invitation. Never mention a gift registry in a wedding invitation… the place for that is in wedding shower invitations. If someone wants to purchase a gift for you… they will often ask the mother or other relative about a registry.
The invitation is an announcement of your wedding and the joy of your new life together.
The invitation to a reception is to show your loved ones how much you appreciate their love and their attendance at their wedding.
It is customary that wedding guests give gifts… but it is completely voluntary… not a given.
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