You’ve decide to tie the knot. You’re a future bride or a future groom. You think you’ve found the perfect woman and the perfect family. How could you be so lucky? The stars have truly shined upon you. But then you start planning the wedding and like magic, the woman you’ve grown to speak of so fondly, turns into a monster. How could this happen?

photo credit: bunnygoth

Most of you probably think I’m just speaking of the groom feeling this way, but I can personally attest to the fact that this happens to brides-to-be, as well. But what happened? And more than that, how do I get that wonderful woman back? I mean, she even found the most cheap wedding favors for us!

Planning a wedding is a stressful time, and nothing can bring more tension than the in-laws getting in the middle of things. What ultimately happens is the stress overflows into the happy soon to be married couple’s lives. Before you know it the ecstatic, future Mr. and Mrs. end up battling over whose mother or parents are right and who’s causing problems. Take my word for it, give the battle up at the beginning. Neither of you will win, and you’ll both end up losing. Of course you could always take one of those leftover adorable wine stopper wedding favors and drink that!

So, how do you overcome this mountain and turn it into a molehill? First of all, pick your battles, no matter if you’re the bride or the groom and no matter whose family is at fault. It’s just not worth it. If you can get this before you’re married, you will alleviate most of the problems acquainted with arguments in a newly married couple’s life. And then when you decide on gifts just as cute as your bridal shower favors you will not have so much of an issue.

Most of the issues will be about where the wedding should be. Or perhaps, who should perform the ceremony. Maybe one side wants a large wedding and the other wants something more intimate; after all, that’s what they did when they got married. The only way to ease this kind of pain, is to truly listen to everyone. Care about what they feel and tell them that. And then when everyone has said their peace, you and your future spouse go out to dinner with a pencil and paper in hand, and decide what you both really want. Always consider other people; especially parents. But do not let anyone manipulate you into having a wedding you will not enjoy.

The only way you will have to renege on some issues, is if one parent(s) are paying for all or most of the wedding. Then there will probably have to be more consideration given to them. So if you don’t have a lot of money and you want to have complete control of your wedding, then opt for something smaller and more intimate. Your peace of mind and lack of stress, will make it well worth it.

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