The Knot Ultimate Wedding Planner: Worksheets, Checklists, Etiquette, Calendars, and Answers to Frequently Asked Questions

Friends and family members often ask either the bride or her mother what would be acceptable as a wedding gift. It is quite all right to reply specifically if it is done in such a way that the sender is given some latitude for the cost of the item.

For instance, if the giver indicates that she would like to send silver, the name of the pattern selected may be given her so that she may add a piece or as many pieces as fit her budget. Or, a list of several items of varying costs may be suggested.

In answer to the direct question about the acceptability of some specific item: “Would you like an electric iron?” the reply may be frank appreciation or rejection of the suggestion; e.g., “Oh, we’d love one, thank you,” or “Thank you, it’s a grand idea, but Ted’s mother has already sent us one.”

In answer to the question, “Is money an acceptable wedding gift?”

Emily Post says “No,” listing as her reason the fact that the money is spent and the couple has nothing definite to remember the sender by.

However, many couples who marry today find money a highly acceptable gift in many instances. Some couples are not able to establish a household of their own for some time. For them the problem of storing wedding gifts may be a difficult one.

Other couples go to housekeeping in limited quarters where there will be no place to put many of the things that they get for their wedding.

Most young couples start out with limited finances that must be stretched as far as dollars can go and, knowing just what they need and what they can do without for a while, can possibly more wisely spend the gift allotment than could all but their closest associates.

One possible compromise between Emily Post and modern expediency is the giving of a United States Government Bond, which may be turned in for cash at once if needed, or “salted away” as a gift of security from the sender until it matures, or until it can be used to purchase some much needed item for the new household.

However… it is not appropriate to ask for money or gifts in a wedding invitation. Never mention a gift registry in a wedding invitation… the place for that is in wedding shower invitations. If someone wants to purchase a gift for you… they will often ask the mother or other relative about a registry.

The invitation is an announcement of your wedding and the joy of your new life together.

The invitation to a reception is to show your loved ones how much you appreciate their love and their attendance at their wedding.

It is customary that wedding guests give gifts… but it is completely voluntary… not a given.

The Knot Ultimate Wedding Planner:

Worksheets, Checklists, Etiquette, Calendars, and Answers to Frequently Asked Questions

Wedding Etiquette

If a young lady is an orphan, the invitations may be issued in the name of her nearest relatives, her grand parents, her married brother or sister, aunt, uncle, or even of a chaperoning matron friend.

As occasions not infrequently arise when in the event of a remarriage or a first venture into matrimony the bride-elect stands quite alone, that is to say, she has no near relations to stand up for her… and she prefers not to requests the company of her acquaintances with the name of a friend, then her invitations may be expressed in these terms:

The honor of your presence is requested

at the marriage of

Dora Joyce Grove

with

Mr. Roger D. Jamieson

on the afternoon of Thursday, the twentieth of April

at four o clock

The First Presbyterian Church

Johnston Avenue

Somertown.

*or*

The honor of your presence is requested

at the marriage of

Mrs. Dora Joyce Grove

with

Mr. Roger D. Jamieson

on the afternoon of Thursday, the twentieth of April

at half-past three o clock

at the residence of

Mr. and Mrs. Andrew L. Royce

22 Church Street

Linda Elizabeth Smith

requests the honor of your presence

at the marriage of her daughter

Jennifer Anne

To

William John Marks

Saturday, the Seventh of May

Two Thousand and Seven

at two o’clock

Holy Hock Grove Chapel

Any Town, Any State

If the bride is orphaned, the name of a married brother and his wife may be used, a bachelor brother or a married sister and her husband. Failing these, the nearest relative or guardian may be listed.

You may not be listing your parents on the invitations for various reasons. You might be estranged from your parents or a parent is deceased. Not listing any parent names may be the most appropriate way to word your wedding invitations.

You might also want to honor a deceased parent on your wedding invitations.

It is not proper to list deceased parents on invitations… but you can use a wedding program for this purpose.

Wedding Etiquette

Complete Guide To Wedding Invitations & Wording

By David Gram

What is a Wedding Invitation For

A wedding invitation is used to ask guests to attend a wedding. It should provide all the necessary details and the invitation should give your guests an indication of what to expect.

When To Send The Invitations Out

Wedding Invitations should be typically sent out four to six weeks before the wedding date. Invitations should be sent out eight weeks before the event to out of town guests or those who may require more time to prepare.

Response Card

As well as sending the wedding invitation you may wish to send a reply card and self addressed envelope. The reply card response can be used for supplying details to the caterer and to get a general indication of the number of guests attending. Guests should be asked to return the reply card two weeks before the actual wedding day or by the date indicated on the card.

Save The Date Card

Save the Date cards can be mailed out between 3 and 12 months before the event. They announce that the wedding date has been set and allows guests to prepare for the event. It should not be used in place of the wedding invitation and should also inform guests that a wedding invitation will follow.

Invitation Wording

• - Times, dates and days are traditionally spelled out.
• - Punctuation should not be used at the ends of lines (commas, periods, colons, etc.) Commas are
• used within lines to separate the day from the date, the city from the state and a man’s surname
• from “Jr./junior/II/III,” etc.
• - Abbreviations should not be used. You should spell a name out or leave it out. E.g “Peter Edward Jones” would be used rather than “Peter E. Jones”
• Also, “Road,” “Street,” “Avenue,” “Reverend,” “Doctor,” and all military titles should be spelled out. The only exceptions are: “Mr.” and “Mrs.”
• - Phrasing should be in the third person.
• - Only proper nouns should be capitalized (names of people and places, cities, name of the day of
• the week, month name, etc.)
• - If both Mr. and Mrs. Jones are doctors, they can be referred to as “The Doctors Jones.”
• - You should not mention gifts on the invitation as you should expect nothing from your friends other than their presence at the event.
• - Many people considered it socially incorrect to include, “no children” on the invitation. Including “Black tie” on the invite is un-necessary. If the wedding takes place after six o’clock, your guests should assume that it is a formal event.

Points To Remember

•Name of parent(s), host(s) or sponsors

•Day/Date (spelled out – e.g. Sunday, the twenty-fifth of March)

•Does the day definitely correspond with the event date? (check a calendar)

•Year (two thousand and eight)

•Time (at six o’clock in the evening)

•Name of Place (Holywell Church)

•Name of bride and groom (Bar/Bat Mitzvah, graduate)

•Location of Place (city but no post code – street address is optional)

•Ask a friend to proof read your invitation.

About the Author: http://www.weddingpartyinvitations.com/

Source: www.isnare.com